I've been reading about Lindsay Lohan and her hook up with stodgy Ungaro as celebrity fashion advisor/unholy marketing alliance. So the clothes are ugly and a great Paris design house looks foolish. blah blah blah. My complaint is this: why isn't Lindsay lining up with American business? Why isn't she releasing that crazy former child star/party girl-spiraling-out-of-control nuclear energy on some worthy American product? I don't mean she should do a K Mart & ex-Charlies Angels thing, or the much weirder Bob Dylan and Victoria's Secret, where, as Entertainment Weekly's Gary Susman puts it, the sextegenarian rock legend gets himself tangled up in blue panties. Our economic crisis is too desperate for ephemeral stuff like gel filled bras and the Jaclyn Smith Summer Expansion Top. We need to get durable goods moving to crank up this nation's economy. Just ask The Wall Street Journal! Why can't Lindsay and Brittney and Rihanna pair up with the likes of Oreck and Frigidaire and Armstrong (Flooring, not Lance)? It could lead to all sorts of creative juxtapositions.
Just look at Judy "Sock It To Me" Carne in a see-through raincoat with a trickster Chest Freezer:
Cute, really cute! as Judy says.
For the platonic ideal of sexy pop icon and and durable goods product, there is Joey Heatherton and Serta Perfect Sleeper in a brilliant 60 seconds of pop production. The full genius is revealed in Serta's informational film about the making of the commercial. This mini doc does for mattress commercials what Martin Scorcese did for The Band and rock concert films.
Now watch part 2. The 10 giant mirrors and crystal chandelier highlight the beauty of the mattress and put Joey in the mood. "This is a new Joey. She's more quiet, contemplative. Beautiful." Wow! Joey's smokey song and dance with the Serta casts a seductive spell worthy of The Love Unlimited Orchestra!
Surely the Joeys of today could do the same thing with a riding mower or vinyl flooring?